Never Think... We're Drones

Wow, it's been years since I wrote anything on this blog, and as I read some of my old posts I realise that this was an open diary of sorts, a place I kept my thoughts. I see that many of the old wounds I spoke of have healed, faded to insignificant scar tissue. 

I look back and think that at the time, I thought these things the most painful of my life. I realise now, that what I had were paper cuts compared to the gaping wounds that now scar me. But I find solace in knowing that now I have people in my life who will sew the wounds back together when they become to much for me to bear...

Death; are we every truly prepared for it? As you stare him in the face and look into the black... Are you prepared? How do you prepare? Do you buy a casket? Draw up a will? Try to remember that song, the one you always said you wanted to be the last song you heard. The song you want to be the one that sends goose bumps down the arms of those who love you when they hear it come on the radio, as they're stuck in traffic, trapped in their car, slumped against the stearing wheel, tears pricking in their eyes...?

What memories do you hope they speak of, as they stand in front of your casket, staring out at all of the people who loved you, or liked you, or felt that they should be there; to say goodbye? What moments in time mattered? Who will they speak of? The person you think you are? The person they thought you were? Or some person in between?

What questions will they ponder, after you're gone; of life and love and God? Will they think kindly of the world that took you away? Or will they face the world with blackness in their heart, and renounce any hope of a deity that would allow them to see you again? Will the world become a black, empty place that holds no chance for happiness or hope? 

Will you regret not taking chances you had? Or be satisfied with the life you lead? Are we ever truly satisfied? 

When the minutes of your life are counting down, when only mere seconds remain, will you beg for more time? Will you believe you deserve it? Will you pray to a God you never truly believed in? Or will you accept the end with one last breath?

What about those you leave behind? Will you pray for a God that would allow you to see them again? 

When all you have left is one chance to make the wrongs right, will you take it?

When all that remains is one last thought to say aloud... What will it be? Who will you speak your last words for? Yourself? Your family? Your friends? When the house is burning down around you... Who will you save?

These questions have been swirling around the sinkhole that is my mind... And answers seem to escape me, no matter how hard I search...

...When all I have left is a box of memories and a wound that festers and burns and refuses to heal, will I regret the things I didn't say...?

"No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true. --Steve Jobs"

If I Go, Who Could Blame Me?

Okay, so along with my Top 5 Blog for this week-ish, here is my actual blog.

Some interesting things have been happening here in the Asylum.

Here are just a few of the things that have happened recently.

We had a temporary new member… let’s call her Barron. Sadly, though I’m not to choked up about it, it was decided that she was too insane, even for the asylum. So she was booted out. We’ll miss you Barron… *cough cough*

The Asylum will also be doing some relocation and renovations, expanding and thinking of a color change. I’m thinking red walls. *evil smile* Everyone has been pretty frantic packing and getting ready for the change. We’re also still waiting on the arrival of our soon-to-be newest member Jellybean. No to much longer now. :D

We’re also celebrating another birthday this month in the Asylum. My own Parental will be celebrating a birthday… right about now actually.

Happy Birthday Parental!!! :D

More ever-so-interesting things, I’ve had a visitor for the last few days, someone who isn’t at this present moment in the introduction package (Apologies, Dude) but mostly that’s because she is my sparring partner in the Asylum. I’ve had more fights with this girl in the 10+ years that I’ve known her than I’ve had… umm… little multi-colored pills, or something. Basically, we fight, a lot. But we’re always friends at the end of the day… week… month… year… my birthday *evil smile*

She’s joining the Asylum for a while, testing it out. Seeing how insane she can be.
It’ll be good to have some new blood around here… it’ll give a nice shade to the walls. Moi ha ha.


Anyways, other things have probably happened since the last time I blogged about me, but I can never remember them… my bad.




^^This is Dude. Read more about her in the introduction package... coming soon.
Or you can also catch her over at TheBookMystress

"One is very crazy when in love."
--Sigmund Freud

This Week/Fortnight's Really Really Late Top 5 Songs

1) Jar of Hearts – Christina Perri

Okay, my reason for loving this song… Well, it’s pretty fucking awesome. Christina Perri has an amazing voice, and the song is beautiful. It’s so full of emotion and pain. I’m not usually into ‘mainstream’ music, but I honestly think this song has indie roots. It’s not as… clean as your typical pop song. Lyrics that speak to me the most… No, I can't take one more step towards you, ‘Cause all that's waiting is regret .Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore, you lost the love I loved the most. I learned to live, half alive, and now you want me one more time.

2) Inventing Shadows – Dia Frampton

So this is not the first time Dia Frampton has appeared on this blog, and I guarantee it will not be the last. She has an amazing voice, and is so original. I love everything she’s done, from Dia & Ian, to Meg & Dia and now her solo career too. I’m so glad she got as far as she did on ‘The Voice’ she deserves all the success she will gain from the show. She writes amazing lyrics and sings with an honesty worthy of Suzie Quatro. Lyrics that speak to me… And you stare out the window at the passing cars, and you look at the sky, thank your unlucky stars. No you're never quite happy right where you are.

3) Scars – Papa Roach

Hmm, I can’t think of one particular reason why I love this song. It is one of those songs that will always be a favorite of mine, for so many reasons. This week I’ve been listening to this song because… well, because it was a nice change, for a little while to remember some of the music that I spent my teenage angst-ridden years listening to. It was really hard to pick out the lines that speak to me the most because the whole song speaks to me, but here are the lines that stood out the most to me when I revisited Papa Roach… I'm drunk and I'm feeling down and I just wanna be alone, you shouldn't ever come around why don't you just go home? I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut, my weakness is that I care too much and our scars remind us that the past is real, I tear my heart open just to feel.

4) Outside – Staind

This song kind of reflects a situation that is going on in the Asylum at the moment. It’s an amazing song, by an amazing band. I had heard it years ago, but came across it only a few days ago as a recommendation on iTunes. The lead singer, Aaron Lewis, has an amazing vocal range, and writes amazing lyrics. Lyrics that speak to me… But I'm on the outside and I'm looking in, I can see through you, see your true colors 'cause inside you're ugly, you're ugly like me I can see through you, see to the real you.

5) Grenade – Bruno Mars

Okay, not a song you would expect me to like, huh? Well truth is, I really didn’t like this song, until a member of the Asylum had me listen to it a few times, and now I have to say… it’s growing on me. I mean, it isn’t my typical style of music, but I’m open to anything. Plus, the lyrics are pretty good. They have a lot of meaning, and a really sweet nature. I also had to sit through the Music Video Clip *shoots eye daggers across the room at evil Bruno Mars fan* but it was actually pretty good. Lyrics that speak to me… If my body was on fire you would watch me burn down in flames. You said you loved me, you're a liar ‘cause you never ever ever did, baby.



"After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music."
-- Aldous Huxley

Okay, so here are my top 5 songs for this week’s soundtrack.

1) New Found Glory - Familiar Landscapes

This is one of those songs, bands actually, that you can never get sick of listening to. To me, they have an amazing sound, and a talent for writing lyrics that can reach the world. So many of their songs have deep meaning, but an amazing thing is they can mean a million different things. Every line can be a different interpretation. I love that about NFG. This week I’ve been revisiting some old bands that really taught me about music and what it means to me. This band was one of the big influences. This particular song speaks to me at this moment in my life, so here are the lyrics that grab me. “What do you want from me? What do you want from my life? What do you want from me? ‘Cause my heart can't take it. My heart can't take this anymore.”





2) The Offspring – Denial, Revisited

This has been a favorite song of mine since that fateful day, so long ago when I picked up the ‘Conspiracy of One’ album. I fell in love that day, not for the first time, but the love was no less strong. I fell in love with music, a different style of music than what I was used to, but so powerful in its melodies and lyrics. So beautiful. My love of music genres has been at every end of the spectrum. A few favorite musicians of mine include, Beethoven, Mozart, Cradle of Filth, Good Charlotte, Mest, New Found Glory, KISS and many more. I love Classical music, Hard Rock, Heavy Metal, Death Metal, Indie, Punk, Pop and again, many more. And that day I fell in love with Punk Rock. “But she stands softly, tears down her face hitting me, Oh god this is the end, I'd wait here for you, but there's nothing more now I can do. How did you know? How did you know? How did you know? Finally…”





3) Saliva – Rest In Pieces

This song means a lot to me, and not just because it’s an amazing song. But because it reminds me of someone, someone I am… was really close to. It would take me too long to explain how any of that makes sense, but to me is does. So this song holds a place in my heart. To most people, this is not one of Saliva’s stand out songs, but to me, this song is their best to date. “Look at me, my depth perception must be off again. You got much closer than I thought you did. I'm in your reach. You held me in your hands but could you find it in your heart to make this go away and let me rest in pieces…”





4) Schuyler Fisk & Joshua Radin – Paperweight

There is nothing about this song that I don’t love. It’s one of the only songs that I can listen to on repeat without having to change the song. I love Schuyler’s voice, her tone, her melody. I love the way her voice blends with Joshua’s. I love everything. It has amazing lyrics, but that isn’t what draws me to the song. It goes so much deeper than lyrics. It’s beauty, in a song. This is one song that will always be on my favorite’s playlist. If you do one thing from reading this blog, let it be to download this song. I promise you, it’s worth it. “Been up all night staring at you wondering what's on your mind, but I've been this way with so many before but this feels like the first time. You want the sunrise, go back to bed I want to make you laugh.”





5) The Spill Canvas – Appreciation and the Bomb

The Spill Canvas is my all-time-fav-band. I don’t foresee a time in the future when they are not my favourite band, and it is songs like this one that make that so. Is this my favorite song by The Spill Canvas? I’m not sure… probably, and, strange as it is, it’s one line in this song that makes it my favorite. There are so many reasons to love this song, but here is just one reason. “Dad, you were there when nobody was. I followed your lead, now I'm proud of what I've become. Brittney, you never cease to amaze me. Maybe someday we'll get another chance to be. Mom, I wished you would try a little harder. Maybe catch a show or two, would that be such a bother?
To all my friends, where do I start? I know I'd be dead without you in my heart.” Now, I know I may as well have put the whole song here, but… these lines… “To all my friends, where do I start? I know I'd be dead without you in my heart.” That speaks to me. All I know, is that this band will forever hold a place in my heart, and not just for this song, but for so many of their songs.





So, I hope you enjoyed this week’s Top 5 songs. :)



"A painter paints pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence." ~Leopold Stokowski

My Top 5 Songs For This Week's Soundtrack...

So here is this week’s top 5 songs.

1) Dia Frampton - Heartless

If you don't have this song, or haven't heard it, you're missing out, I promise you. I have loved Dia Frampton since the first time I heard Meg & Dia, and one of my all time favourite songs is by Dia & Ian. An extremely beautiful and sad song called 'Yellow Butterfly'
I'm from Australia, so it's a little stupid for me to be watching an American Talent Show, called The Voice. But when I heard Dia was on it, I couldn't help myself. I watch every week and am amazed at how far she has gotten, not because I don't think she is talented, I do. But because I didn't think that other people would see that talent, because she isn't what you would call... popular. Her sound is so original, so unique that I thought people would dismiss her. I am genuinely happy to be wrong.
I am a little concerned that being on this show will make Dia become more commercialized and in that lose some of what makes her so unique as an artist... but I sincerely hope that doesn't happen. It would be such a shame for the world to lose something as beautiful as Dia Frampton.
This song is from The Voice, you can download it on iTunes. It’s a cover of a Kanye West song. I’ve never heard the Kanye version, but I don’t need to.



2) Thriving Ivory – Angels on the Moon

I’d never heard of this band before, but I came across some of their lyrics whilst browsing around the internet. “Don't tell me if I'm dying 'Cause I don't wanna know. If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go. Don't wake me 'cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon. Where everyone you know never leaves too soon” I had to hear the song after reading that, so I did. In my head I thought, ‘No way, the lyrics are too good, the song will be crap,’ I was happily proven wrong. The band is a cross between The Fray and One Republic (Personal Opinion) The lead singer has a beautiful vocal range, and the music is beautifully constructed.




3) Chase Coy/Dear Juliet – Mockingbird

I adore Chase Coy, he has the most melodic voice and writes beautiful lyrics that tell stories. I don’t think I could pick a favourite song of his, but this week I’ve been listening especially to ‘Mockingbird’ it tells a story I feel close to, of love a love so strong. So beautiful. So pure. "I've been waiting so long for these words to come out, It's practically all I've been thinking about. So thank you for finding the words I couldn't find on my own, Now I'm not alone." I love these lines. I think it really expresses love. Sometimes life overpowers you, and you feel like you can’t say all the things you want to. Sometimes all you need is someone else to help you find the words. To me that is the beauty of this song.



4) Brooke Fraser – Scarlet

I’ve loved this song since the moment I heard it, about 5 years ago on an episode of Neighbors (A Soap in Australia) I’ve been listening to it this week. This song has different connotations to everyone. To me, this song is about a woman who has a miscarriage. So, sad, yes. But beautiful. So beautiful. If you love artists like Sarah McLachlan and Delta Goodrem, you should check out Brooke Fraser. “Middle of nowhere. Finally you can breathe. Nobody knows your name, it's easier. Shut your eyes tightly. Clench your fists till they almost bleed. Cautiously, lightly. Gently expose what's underneath”




5) A Day to Remember – If It Means A Lot To You

This is actually one of my All-Time favourite songs. It’s pretty easy to see what it’s about. It’s about a relationship that is being strained because they are always away, on business or school or tour, whatever your problem is. Basically, they miss each other, but one person is sick of being left behind. The song is basically dialogue set to a tune. I love it. It is a brilliant song, by a brilliant band. I love how angry they get at each other, I love the eventual acceptance of the situation. I love the line “Don’t you dare say we can just be friends,” But of the song as a whole, my favourite part is near the end when they are both screaming “La la la la la” at each other. If you’ve never heard A Day To Remember, I suggest you give them a listen. I don’t want to put them into any specific genre, so all I’ll say is… if you like great music, give them a listen.



So, that’s my soundtrack of the week. Let me know what yours is. :)




“When people hear good music, it makes them homesick for something they never had, and never will have.”
-- Edgar Watson Howe

Don't Tell Me If I'm Dying, Cause I Don't Wanna Know... I'm Dreaming of Angels on the Moon

Okay, so every day I get worse at this blogging thing. I don’t know why, and I don’t know what it is but every time I sit down to write my blog… I blank. It’s not really like I do anything noteworthy, but I still do… stuff. Things that can be blogged about… I just never seem to write those things down.

So here is a summary of my last few weeks. I’ll try to make it brief, and not boring… yeah, right!!!

Well, I am now 23, that’s noteworthy, kinda. My birthday was… boring, I guess. I went out to dinner at Hogsbreath with Parental and a couple friends. (Day release from the Asylum, yay.) It was a pretty good dinner, I almost killed myself eating the Mississippi Mud Cake (Worth it!!!) After almost dying from to much food, we decided to play DDR (Dance Dance Revolution) Bad idea, but still mass fun.

I got my birthday present from Parental early, a Sony DSLR A390. Brilliant camera, but sadly now all my friends are pissed off at my constant need to take photographic evidence of… well, everything.

Shorty and Telle took me to Supanova for my birthday, which was pretty awesome. Got heaps of awesome photo’s. Also got to see James Masters (Aka Spike from Buffy) perform live. I think that was my favorite part of the day.

Met up with Satan for about 40 seconds. That girl leads a busy life, I tell you.

I wanna say I’ve done more fun and interesting stuff these last few weeks…but all I can really come up with is Alias.

I brought all five seasons of Alias, and have been watching them almost non-stop. I’m pretty much, loving it. Alias is an awesome show. I’d seen most of it before, but some of it I completely missed. Most of season four and five, so happy to be catching up on that.

Also brought Xena: Warrior Princess, season one. Gunna start that after Alias. Not sure what show I’ll watch after that… I’m thinking I might re-watch Farscape.

Anyways, this has been my rather boring Blog.





"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

I Wanna Make You Laugh

New Blog Is Coming Tomorrow... Hopefully.



"A guilty conscience needs to confess. A work of art is a confession." --Albert Camus

It Ain't A Lot, But It's All I Have...

I'd like to think I'm getting better at this blogging thing, but I don't think I am... darn.

Today, I start with a question. An answer is not required, I just feel the need to express.

Does it hurt less to miss someone if you believe that you will see them again? I guess what I mean by this is, all the people out there that believe in God, do they believe in Him because believing gives them the hope that all the people they lose, they will see again one day, in some place with fluffy white cloud-cushions and harps playing in the background (clearly I'm not up on my Heaven references) 'Cause I mean, I could almost go for this God thing, if it gave me the opportunity to see all the people I've lost and all the people I miss again.
But, I don't get it. I don't understand how people who believe in God, can do it so vehemently.
Can anyone be that sure about anything?
Isn't there some doubt?
And then there are like different religions.
What if you pick the wrong one?
Is there a wrong one?
Are they all right?
And if so, how?
It just doesn't make sense... but I guess, it isn't suppose to, right? Wrong? I'm really not sure. Apologies for the rambling here. I've just been wondering lately if I'll ever get the chance to have one more conversation with someone that I miss.
I imagine I'm not the only one though.



Anyway, moving on, here is some awesomely-huge brilliant news!!! (drum roll)

Confirmation that Jellybean is a Unicorn!!! Hells yes!!! I'm thinking birth is going to be a bitch for Shorty, but hey, who doesn't want to give birth to a mythical creature, huh?

Joking aside, Jellybean is a perfectly healthy baby Girl!!! Growing normally, good strong heartbeat, all the right bones and... stuff. (I don't really know much more than that the ultrasound pic look like the Punisher)

So happy she's a girl!!! (I still would have loved her if she was a boy though)

Shorty and Blake are both ecstatic, as are all of the residents of the Asylum :D
Only a few more months until our newest resident arrives.

Telle and I are sourly lacking on our womanly skills, as we are yet to organize the baby shower, but we are working on it. Not really sure how to plan one, but I'm sure we'll work it out... if not... I'm sure Shorty will still love us... maybe.



Shorty and Baby Jellybean



Telle and Baby Jellybean



Me and Baby Jellybean


So, that is pretty much my blog for the moment. Not very interesting, but hey, entertainment I am not.

As per usual, here is my quote.

"Imagination is more important than knowledge."
--Albert Einstein

You Move Slow Like Daytime Drama...

Okay, so I know, I have been slacking majorly on my blogging. This will not come as a shock to those of you who read the 'Introduction'

Here is a very short-- er... long-ish rundown on what's been happening...


Okay, so the pregnancy is going brilliantly.
:D
So excited about becoming an Aunty.
Jellybean started moving about three days ago. Shorty can now feel her when she does somersaults. So tute!!! (And yes, I say 'she' because I believe Jellybean is a girl, only two more weeks til we find out. Can't wait!!!)

I've already picked out about 147 things that I NEEEEED to buy her... and in the *highly unlikely* event that she is, in fact, a he... well, Imma need to pick out some new things. But I'm hopeful that she a little girl.
:D
33.3333% chance!!!

Also a 33.3333% chance that she's a Chantelle (that one you won't even understand if you've read the 'Intro' it's kinda a private joke.) :)

So, I'll let you know when I do. :)




More things that have happened... Hmmm... well, Telle and I have started sharing a room in the asylum, since we needed somewhere to put the nursery and we were all out of rooms. Telle pulled the short straw and ended up with me, which isn't really that bad, I don't think... I'll have to ask her. Though, I don't snore, so that's a plus.
Telle, however, sleep-talks, sleep-walks, sleep-spoons and sleep-just-about-every-other-random-thing-you-can-think-ofs.

It's nice to have company though. Makes me feel less alone... although, with the voices I'm never REALLY alone.


Peeky, (again, refer to 'Intro') is turning 3 tomorrow. April 1st for those of you that may have a different timezone.
It's hard to believe that she is only three. She's been through sooooo much in her few short years. I just think of her as being with me for my whole life so far. But, she is still a pup, and what do pups love? Treats!!! So I got her lots of treats for her birthday. I'm sure she'll love them... at least for a little while. Then she'll get sick of the treats, demand attention and want snuggles.


More things that have happened (and since I'm getting tired, this will be the last interesting thing I put on this post) we went to the Zoo!!!

Last week we (Telle, Shorty, Sami and I {and yes, I am aware that Sami is not in the 'Intro' package, an oversight on my part. I will give her a short reference at a later date, for now, I will give a short P.O.R. Sami, possibly the smartest of us all, is Telle's twin sister.}) all decided that we needed a Fun Day, so we went to Taronga Zoo. An awesome place. We got sooo many awesome pics, some of which I will add to the blog. It was an all round awesome day. We got some little things for Jellybean, and found a Rocking Lion that we must buy for JB, no matter the price. NO MATTER THE PRICE, I say.

Anyway, that's about it for now. I'll try to make my posts a little more frequent, but life has this talent for getting in the way of things like blogging, sleeping, eating, ect.


So, as per usual, here is my quote.


FREEDOM IS NOT WORTH HAVING IF IT DOES NOT INCLUDE THE FREEDOM TO MAKE MISTAKES -- MOHANDAS KARAMCHAND GANDHI


(I do feel it needed to be capitalized, for it is an amazing quote, by an amazing human being.)





Shorty
(Jellybean is in the photo, you just can't really see her... you know, since she's kinda in utero)




Telle
(My my what big ears you have :))





Sami
(And we discovered early on in the day that you CANNOT take a bad picture of Sami... she's like Barney from HIMYM)





Jes (aka Me, the one who always looks the dorkiest in the photos, yay...)

While you were sleeping...

Okay, so I know I have been slacking majorly on my blog. Apologies.
But an update on the Asylum will be coming. Promise.




“Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't
own it, but you can use it. You can't keep
it, but you can spend it. Once you've lost it
you can never get it back.” ~~Harvey MacKay

Changed My Mind... Maybe

9th January 2011

3:51pm

So, how lucky are you that I’m making another entry so soon… though when I actually post it… well, it could be in a fortnight, so, maybe you’re not that lucky.

Today I spent some time with Parental and Napolean. It was good. We had lunch.

I don’t know if maybe, it’s me? But, Napolean seems to have aged a lot since the last time I saw him, which was only a week or so ago. He just… he looked much older. I mean, he is 12 years old. So for a dog he’s going really well. But I guess, I just… I still see him as a pup. It’s hard to think of him as an old man. He’ll always be that cute little pup that used to pee on my floor to me.

I know the realities. I know, that one day, god forbid, Napolean won’t be with me. I don’t know how I’ll face that day. Not well, I assume. He’s been my best friend for so long. Sometimes my only friend, and almost always, the only one who I ever really felt understood me.

I guess the reason I’m getting like this is because I recently watched ‘Marley and Me’ If you haven’t seen it… well… I want to tell you not to, because it’s a really sad movie, but it was a good movie, as long as you’re prepared with a box of Kleenex.
Maybe to everyone else it was obvious that Marley would die, but to me… well, I was thinking, ‘It’s a comedy, they wouldn’t do that,’ until they did… and that really made me think about things like mortality.

Napolean has a good 10+ more years in him though, I know he does. *crosses fingers*



Anyway, another thing to blog about today. Inspiration.

It is indeed a hard thing to come by, for me at least. But I know a lot of other people who have similar problems. So here’s mine, feel free to gloss over this if it bores you.

I used to be a writer, well, I still am. But I used to write Short Stories and Novels. I think I was okay at it, maybe a little better than okay. I used to write all the time. Almost every day I wrote, and the days I didn’t, I was thinking about writing or making notes somewhere about writing. I have notepads full of stories and story ideas and just little things that should happen, and one liners. Random stuff like that. But almost a year ago now, I lost it. I lost my ability to write altogether. I stare at an open document and nothing happens.

Until a few days ago.

Now I’m not saying its back. I’m not saying my muse has returned, and I’ll be back to writing novels next week. But it’s a speck of light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. A good sign, I’d like to think.

If nothing else, it gives me a little hope that I might regain the piece of me that has been missing for so long.




11th January 2011

9:36am

Okay, so amazingly enough, quite a few interesting things have happened in the asylum over the last few days. We had quite an eventful weekend. Our resident psycho, whom you may know from the ‘Introduction’ as Brother or Daniel, had quite an interesting weekend. He went out drinking with some mates, not that unusual. The problem was when he got back to the asylum at about midnight him and the Kid (also refer to the ‘Introduction’) decided it would be fun to wake everyone up with their screaming abuse of each other. Our poor honorary member, JessJess was caught in the middle of the argument.

I was also woken, and had to implement my peacemaking powers. (Using my powers for good instead of evil; sucks) But at least now we have some new holes in the asylum walls. So, yay!!!

We now also all have to deal with the sulking… oh joy (I don’t know if my sarcasm comes across online, if not… well, just picture that as dripping with sarcasm, please.) I won’t go into too much detail about the fight, it was basically boys using every swear word they know over and over… not so much fun, and not exactly PG+ 13 enough to write in my blog, since I don’t think it has an age classification… whoops.



Anyways, things have mostly settled down now, so things are looking up. They might not lock us all up in solitary now!!!




12th January 2011

6:27am

Okay, so at the moment Shorty is asleep on the bed next to me (kinda more passed out from our crazy random night of awesome fun!!! Telle is also asleep… I’m not actually sure where though… I shall investigate shortly) and I couldn’t sleep so I decided to continue this blog.

Especially since this time I actually do have some very exciting and awesome news to share.

The asylum will soon have a new member!!! Yes indeed. Shorty and her husband are expecting their first spawn!!! Little Jellybean is now 5 weeks along, and everyone is very excited.

I’m so going to enjoy being Crazy Aunty Jes!!!

I’m placing my bet in the pool of gender picks!!! I think she is going to be a little girl. So as it stands, I think that’s...

Shorty: Boy
Telle: Boy
Blakus: Boy
Me: Pony!!!

I’m feeling a little outnumbered :/

(Don’t worry little Jellybean, I know you’re a girl. Only a few more weeks ‘til we find out!!!

~crosses fingers for girl~

Suffice to say there are a whole lot of happy family members going around at the moment.



Well, I think this blog is done for the moment. I’ll make sure I keep you updated on the Jellybean situation, and of course on the daily goings on in the asylum.


So, as always, here is your inspirational quote :D


"To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funnybone."
Reba McEntire






And a photo of 'The Three Amigos' aka Us :D

I dub thee, Crazy Day!!!

4th of January 2011
8:37am

Okay, so at the moment I’m sitting on a bus that is taking me, well… around the world. But my destination is Gosford. I will eventually get there; it will just take me about an hour and a half, even though Gosford is really only about 20 mins away.

Why am I doing it? Well, I’m going to Gosford to meet up with a friend, Shorty. (If you read the ‘Introduction to the Asylum’ package, you’ll know who she is.) I’m taking her a Crazy Day present. Now I know I haven’t explained about Crazy Day before, so I’ll give you the 411.

Crazy Day is a day that we invented years ago. How many years? I’m not sure, but a fair few. Crazy Day occurs on… well, any day you want it to, All that’s required is a random gift and a letter. I haven’t actually written Shorty’s letter yet. In fact, I’m not even sure I have a piece of paper on me.

I wonder if an email or a mention in my blog would count as a letter? Hmm… *ponders*

Anyway, today the random gift Shorty will be receiving is ~drum roll~ a set of USB microphones for Wii!!! So, random huh?

Well really it’s not quite as random as you’d think. I bought U-Sing for my Wii a few weeks back and Shorty and her Husband (Blakus, see aforementioned ‘Introduction’) came over and played it for a while. I thought they enjoyed it so I got a set of mic’s for them. (I’m also lending them my U-Sing game, cause what use would the mic’s be without a game?) *crosses fingers* I hope she likes it. :D


So, I’m quite hopeful that something interesting will happen to me on the way to Gosford. ‘Cause it’s kinda gunna suck if the most interesting thing about this blog is my excessive use of exclamation points!!!

~Some time later~

Sadly, nothing of astounding interest happened to me on the bus ride. I did manage to find a post-it note to write Shorty’s Crazy Day letter on though. Then me and Shorty played U-sing and tortured her neighbors. Fun was had. :D






8th of January 2011
12:45pm

Today is the one year anniversary of the day my Nan passed away. I guess all I can say is I really didn’t realize how much I’d miss her. I didn’t really start to get close to her until just a few years ago. I feel like I wasted a lot of time not knowing her. I mean, I knew her, and I visited her with family on special occasions like Christmas and stuff, but I was really just a kid, I didn’t value the time with her, I just complained that I wasn’t somewhere else… now I wish I could get some of that time back.

I guess that saying ‘You don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone’ really rings true here.

I don’t really know what my religious beliefs are, God, Jesus and all that… it’s not something I really know about, or concern myself with. But, no matter my beliefs, I do hope that my Nan is somewhere at peace. It’s kinda sucky thinking that at the end of this all you get is a wooden box or an urn that gets carted around by relatives and forgotten about until one day when someone accidentally lets one of the kids near it and then… well, you’re dust.
Maybe that is all there is, but for my Nan, I hope it’s something better.

So, here is a little something from a song I really love, that describes a lot of what I feel right now. I really love that about music, that it can describe a feeling I can’t.


I still can’t believe you’re gone, but you still live on in me. I feel you in the wind, you guide me constantly. I carry the things that remind me of you. In loving memory of the one that was so true. You were as kind as anyone could be, and even though you’re gone, you still mean the world to me.
--Alter Bridge, In Loving Memory.


Anyway, I’ll stop this crazy rambling. This, I think, will be my blog for the week. I don't know if anyone actually reads my blog, and to be honest, it doesn't really bother me if no one does, it's more for me than anyone else.

I know, for the one person who reads this just to be obnoxious, 'Why write a public blog if you don't want anyone to read it?' I don't mind if someone reads it, it's not a diary entry, I simply don't mind if no one does.


So, you probably don't know this about me yet, but I'll let you in on a secret. I'm kinda addicted to quotes. So you will most likely see them at the bottom of the majority of my posts, and here is today's...


"Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once."
--Lillian Dickson

Enter, the key players...

Okay, so here are the key players in this blog, aka The Family.

You'll probably hear about them, so I thought I'd introduce them.


Enter...



So, this is my mom, aka Mother. She’s kind of the center of this craziness. She did spawn my brothers and I, so… yep, she has to be crazy. She keeps the craziness fun though.

Her place in the asylum… she’s the one who keeps us all together. She's the one always walking around barefoot, like the hippie she is, telling us to love, not fight.

Her superpower… courage. It might not seem like much when you’re thinking superpowers. But it is. This is a woman who is both courageous enough, and crazy enough to walk outside into a field of flowers with no shoes on, even though she’s deathly allergic to bee’s.


Enter...


So this is my Dad, aka Parental, he’s kinda on the outskirts of the asylum. He likes to hang in his own room, do his own thing. A gypsy I guess. But he’s always the first one there when someone needs something.

His place in the asylum, wanderer. He’s the guy that wanders around, muttering to himself and trying to find spare part off anything so he can turn his toaster into an Army Tank, crazy part? Give him enough time and you just might see that tank go past your window.


Superpower…well, heart. He cares a little more than he should I guess. Sometimes I don’t think he keeps enough of himself for himself. He’s the carer.


Enter...


This is my older brother Daniel, aka Brother. He’s the hot-headed member of the family.

I guess his place in the asylum… he’d be our resident psycho. You know, that one you wouldn’t voluntarily cross. Has to use plastic forks at meal time and still manages to turn them into shivs. As brothers go, he’s not that bad. I mean, I know a lot of brothers that are worse.

His superpower… charisma. I’ve never met anyone else in my life who could talk people to their will like he can. It’s a talent, for sure. (He’s also a pro Poker player)


Enter...


Okay, now we have, Johnny, aka The Kid. He’s my little brother, a pain in the ass sometimes, sure. But he’s a great kid. Now, I know he gets really sick of my mother and I and our unremitting need to act like dickheads, but I think really he loves that about us, even if he does complain.

His place in the asylum, stop-out. He’s the guy who is forever getting day release, and no one knows how. Maybe he’s bribing the warden, I don’t know. But for every minute he spends in the asylum, he spends one somewhere else. Where? Well, no one is quite sure. I think the important part is, he always comes back.

Superpower… music. So, technically, not a superpower. But from the day this kid picked up his first guitar, it was all he thought about (Until he got a girlfriend, but y’know, boys *sigh*) He can pick up a song from just listening to it a few times. If that’s not talent, I don’t know what is.


Enter...


This is Tracy, aka Shorty. (Best Friend) She’s a lifer. Self committed I guess. She doesn’t have to be here, she’s crazy, sure. But if she tried she could pass for sane. She does all the sane things that normal people do. You know, get married. Have a good job. Save money for a house. Plan for kids. She’s the one who has everything worked out. So it makes no sense that she’s here, right? Wrong. She’s here for me. Sometimes I don’t know why she stays, but I’m always glad she does. Truth is, I really don’t know what I’d do without her.

Her place in the asylum, prankster. Yep, she’s the one who’s always got something up her sleeve. You always want her on your side on games night. She makes everything interesting. She’s the one who swaps everyone’s medication around on a Friday night because she doesn’t like the scheduled movie. She makes the things that don’t seem like they could be interesting, the most interesting things of all.

Superpower… distraction. Now, I know you have a question mark flashing above your head right now, don’t you? But let me explain. Shorty is the one you chase down the corridor if you’re having a crappy day. Why? Because she’ll find a way to distract you with whimsy. She’s the one you go to because you need relief from the world. If only for a second.


Enter...


This is Chantelle, aka Telle. There was a time when I thought she was too crazy, so much so in fact, that I didn’t really give her a chance in the beginning. I think one of the smartest things I’ve done in my life is give this girl a chance to enter my heart. Because now, she’s crawled in, curled into a little ball and taken one of the biggest parts.

Her place in the asylum, eccentric. She can make anything amazing. You give her a paperclip, she’ll amuse you, and herself for hours. You draw some lines on a page, she sees a wonderland. She sees the world in a way most people only wish they could. You can often see her wandering the hallways of the asylum mewing, or barking, making the days more interesting, and not even noticing.



Superpower… sincerity/integrity. She is the only person I’ve ever met in my life who I can honestly say is non-judgmental. She takes every person for who they are, no matter what. I know I’ll never meet another person like her, and I’m glad for that. She’s an original, a one of a kind. The rarest of them all. You never need to be anyone else around her, all you have to be is yourself. There is a relief in that, that’s like nothing you’ve ever felt.


Enter...


So this is Natasha, aka Satan. She’s one of the newer members to the permanent asylum line-up. In the beginning I think she was dragged in, but now I think she’s grown to like it here. Doesn’t stop her from wanting to escape though.

Place in the asylum, escape artist. She’s the one who spends her days and nights planning the perfect escape, says a big farewell. Escapes for a few days and gets thrown back in three days later. Whether she gets caught or comes back by choice no one is really sure. I guess you could say she’s a glutton for punishment. She knows she’s crazy, but she loves making people believe she’s not.


Superpower… brains. She’s got all the brains. Knows she could escape for good if she really wanted to, but something pulls her back. She makes the plans.


Enter...


This is Blake, aka Blakus, the husband of the Best Friend. So, guilty by association? He doesn’t really choose to be here. But it’s kinda like jail. There's no trouble getting in, the problems will come when he wants to get out.

His place in the asylum, conjugal visit. He’s not a permanent fixture. Just an occasional drop in. But he does have the right kinda crazy to stay. He’s part of the yellow army (luckily that’s not like a gang or something) and he may just be the worlds most hectic dancer.

Superpower… confidence. So, in an insane asylum, confidence isn’t something you often see, but this guy has it in spades. I don’t think I know anyone who is more comfortable being themselves than he is. It’s something a lot of people wish they had.


Enter...


This is Jessica, aka JessJess. So it got to confusing for people having two Jess’s so, we renamed newcomer Jess, JessJess. She’s the girlfriend of the Kid. She spends a lot of time in the asylum, so she became an honorary member.

Place in the asylum, unintentional comic relief. So, she is a person with the natural ability to make people laugh. She’s not blonde, but with the things she says, sometimes you gotta wonder. She is kinda the epitome of a ditz. She says things without thinking and all you can do is laugh.

Superpower… laughter. So, I don’t really know how to make laughter into a suitable superpower. All I know is, since this girl joined the asylum there has been a lot more laughter. Maybe she means it, maybe it’s a natural thing, I’m really not sure. All I know is, life is a lot more interesting with JessJess in it.


Enter the mascots!!!


Napolean, oldest and most trusted mascot. At almost thirteen years old he’s a veteran member of the asylum. He’s been around almost from the beginning. He’s always stuck around, even though he’s probably had better places he could be.

Place in the asylum, Wiseman. Maybe it seems silly (well, it is an insane asylum) but if there were someone in the asylum you’d want to talk to, or get advice from, it’s him. It might seem ridiculous to try to get advice from a dog, but really, who better?

Superpower… unconditional love. People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life like loving everybody all the time and being nice. Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long.

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.


Enter...



This is Peek-a-boo aka Peek. She’s might be small, but don’t be confused, she is the boss. She’s had a hard life, and at times I’ve wondered if the asylum is the best place for her. But after three years together, I know that the asylum is the only place for her.

Her place in the asylum, shining star. She can brighten up any day. She’s had a hard life, being run over by a car, while she was pregnant. Crushing her pelvis. Almost being killed several times over by vets. It’s been challenging for her, to say the least. But through everything, she’s always been the worlds happiest dog (as long as you don’t put her near children)

Superpower… comfort. She’s the toy you wanna cuddle for warmth, or contact or just so you know you’re not alone. Maybe it’s strange, but one cuddle from Peek and the darkness of a room doesn’t seem so overwhelming.


Enter...


This is Shikari-Sha-Gon aka Kari. Scaredy cat. Afraid of his own shadow. Won’t walk on grass or dirt. Hates water. Mud. Bugs. Spiders. People. Strangers. Most members of the asylum. Raw foods.

Place in the asylum, comparison. So, basically, Kari is a crazy as they come and he knows it. Good thing is, everyone else knows too. And one thing everyone agrees on, no one in the asylum is crazier than Kari, which is comforting to many.

Superpower… entertainer. Watching Kari run away from his own shadow is one of the most enjoyable past times in the asylum.


And lastly, enter... me


So this is me, Jesyka aka The writer. Maybe the craziest of all. Why? Well, I’m the volunteer. I’m the one, who strange as it is to believe, chooses to be here. Maybe I’d still be here, even if I chose not to, I don’t know. I don’t think I ever will. So why do I stay? Well… I love that feeling. You know the one, that feeling that maybe, just maybe, this is really where you belong.

My part in the asylum? I guess I’m not really sure about that… only time will tell. Sometimes I’m the instigator, sometimes I’m the peacemaker. It’s like the roll of a dice with me.

My superpower… I’m not sure yet. Maybe writing. Along with being the volunteer, I’m the story teller. I document. So that’s what I’m doing… I’m telling the story.

The story of my life in the asylum… aka My family.




"Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about."
Oscar Wilde

A New Year...

Okay, I'm going to keep it light and simple.

This is a blog.
I plan to update this blog... once a week-- er, make that fortnight.
It may or may not be of any interest.

I think that's about it for now... short and... well short.

I hope everyone is having a good New Year.



"A conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue. That's why there are so few good conversations: due to scarcity, two intelligent talkers seldom meet."
Truman Capote